I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy.
I have to stop worrying that people are going to be happy without me. I have to stop being afraid that everyone is having fun without me, because then it becomes this vicious cycle of neediness and distance. I want to have genuine friends and I want to be happy alone. I want to be content with a book and a cup of coffee, but also be able to throw that book in my backseat and drive across town with five minute’s notice. I want to want to be healthy but I also want to eat a brownie and sit in bed all day watching television. I want to love my body in every state and condition. I want my worries to turn to sand and I want to let them slip between my fingers.